Dear AARP – Nobody Likes a ‘Gun Jumper’

The older I get the harder and harder it becomes to resist the use of clichés…staying true to the inevitable I must say that it’s absolutely amazing how fast time flies by.  I’ve been writing this blog for over two years – two years, and I’ve come full circle with one of my favorite posts, a post entitled ‘Christina 3.0’ https://thedailystride.wordpress.com/2009/06/24/christina-3-0/ this was a post about my process of coming to terms with the big 3-0. 

Now two years later I’m a fresh 32 and I’m not having the same fears and anxieties that I had with 30 or at least I wasn’t having the same fears and anxieties until I got a letter in the mail from the AARP.

There’s nothing like a letter welcoming you into the 50+ club when you’ve only just recently embraced the 30 and over club.  And how ironic is it that I got the letter from the AARP a week before my 32nd birthday???  Just as I was telling myself that this incessant aging wasn’t a problem this hilarious but really annoying mistake kicked my neurosis right back into high gear.  But how could it not make me anxious – what with my first and last name on the envelope AND the not just one but TWO AARP benefits cards in all of their glory – ooooh white and gold! 

It was enough to make one literally burst out laughing while figuratively curling up in the fetal position and crying oneself to sleep.

…not that there’s anything wrong with 50+ it’s just that the AARP jumped the gun by about two decades on my membership and nobody likes a gun jumper.

To make it even worse, while looking through the mail I saw another letter from the AARP addressed to me and that’s when I decided that this awkward mishap had to stop.

I googled AARP, found the 877# and got in the cue to speak with an operator.  While I waited I was subjected to an automated message from Betty White, spewing her usual sass, something like “hey this is Betty White you might be feeling down because you’re about to turn 50 but get over it, I’m 85 and trust me membership has its benefits…!”  the longer the message played the words ‘make it stop’ kept playing over and over in my mind.  The operator finally came on the line and the conversation was comical.  She totally understood my dismay at having been added to the AARP list and we were both able to relate to the fact that we were just starting to digest 30+…she too was approaching her 32nd birthday.

So far 30+ is cool.  It’s definitely a change but I’m thankful for it.  I had an amazing weekend…drinks and partying at Darnell’s lounge/bar on Saturday, time with my old man on Sunday, and a special birthday on Monday – lunch and shopping with Mom and dinner and drinks with the boyfriend, all in all a great time! 

 

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