It has been almost a week and I’m finally ready to talk about the fact that I had four – yes four – wisdom teeth pulled last Friday. The reaction that I get from people when I tell them I had four teeth pulled at one time is a combination of sheer horror and adulation. However I can’t fathom the alternative…going through the pain of having maybe one or two teeth pulled and dealing with the slow recovery process, only to deal with the anxiety that would come with anticipating the next trip to the oral surgeon. No, I decided to have all four removed at once, go through the recovery process and never look back.
Recovery has been slow going but fortunately I have not experienced pain…discomfort? Yes, but absolutely no pain. This experience has made me realize three things…
1) Anesthesia and pain medication is one of the most amazing things that man conceived. During my recovery I got plenty of rest and in-between my deep, hydrocodone induced naps I had flashes of Gone With The Wind, particularly the horrible scenes that depicted confederate soldiers facing amputation and other mind numbingly painful procedures with little to no chloroform available. The breast exam that my gynecologist puts me through is more uncomfortable than the procedure that I experienced. The procedure consisted of sitting in a reclining chair, having my blood pressure taken, experiencing the quick prick of a shot (which was then replaced by the anesthesia drip), the doctor asking if I was nervous (ummm, does a bear sh*t in the woods doc??), short breathing tubes in my nose…and a deep la la land sleep.
2) Food is EXTREMELY important to me…it builds me up (and perhaps plumps me up a bit too) it makes me feel good – it puts a pep in my step. I need the food that I eat to be an experience, something joyful and purely satisfying…the mushy, liquid diet that I was confined to for approximately five to six days after surgery just made me sad…that’s right, sad. Several times I found myself in the grips of desperation. On the third night after surgery I was standing in front of the refrigerator trying to gum and salivate my way through bite size pieces of Manny & Olga’s meat lovers pizza. What kind of cruel person orders meat lovers pizza when they know there’s a person on the premise who has been rendered orally challenged??? That person will remain nameless…yes, my mouth ached horribly the next morning but I was willing to suffer for my kryptonite!
3) A good mother is one of the most special things in the entire world (next to a good father). Yes folks, my mother stood by me like a champ. She made me smoothies, fixed me soup, potatoes, gave me my meds, hot and cold compresses…it’s nice to know that no matter how old I get and no matter how big this cold world might be – I can always come home.
Here’s to anesthesia, kryptonite, and MOMS 🙂