Monday night I was watching The Bachelor and I was horrified – it was equal parts I can’t believe I’m watching this and I can’t believe these people are serious.
As I sat and watched the bachelor go from being convinced that a certain woman might have been “the one” to complete and utter shock upon finding out that “the one” had conducted herself “inappropriately” with a crew member, I had to do some soul searching of my own. I had to ask myself some important questions – Why do I find this show to be so completely ridiculous? And why am I watching it?
Why do I find the show to be completely ridiculous?…The bottom line is that I think I’m a bit to old school to be comfortable with The Bachelor’s format, women trying out for a man. I am however comfortable with The Bachelorette’s format, men trying out for a woman. Why do I watch the show?…Because it makes me somewhat uncomfortable.
I know that double standards are tired but unfortunately desperation never looks good on a woman and the things that these women do look desperate – not romantic. When women act desperate it doesn’t come off as being romantic or determined, it just looks stalker-like. When men take desperate measures their efforts are most often romanticized.
I would dare say that when women take desperate measures they are quietly being sized up for their straight-jackets. Trust me on this one. You might say I’m absurd but you can look at pop culture and see clear instances where men chasing women was romanticized:
• John Cusack standing outside of his love interests house in the rain with a radio over his head – Say Anything
• Laurence Fishburne standing outside of Rachel’s dorm yelling/begging for her to come down – School Daze
• Dwayne Wayne running down the aisle at Whitley’s wedding screaming “baby baby please “– A Different World
Reverse the gender roles in any of the above situations and the woman would be classified as grade A stalker material.
Aside from the fact that the vast majority of the women on the show seem to have some sort of chemical imbalance, I am further baffled by the odd camaraderie that these women have with each other. Patting each other on the back and giving each other hugs of encouragement that they made the cut; giving each other pep talks when one gets sad and is thinking about going home… “you should stay, don’t quit on Jake”. Are they working together as some sort of team to fall in love with this man???
And then there are the polite/passive-aggressive ways that they interrupt each other to steal time with Jake and read a note, or talk about their yodeling hobby etc. They’re all desperately plotting a way to properly “express their interest” to him…almost like they were trying to pledge.
Even more bizarre are the tears that are in the women’s eyes when they get sent home. You JUST MET THIS GUY – you can’t be sad that you didn’t get him, you’ve got to be crying simply because you aren’t the winner of “the prize”…in this case said prize is a doe eyed blonde man who’s playing the role of the good guy.
Each girl that went home on Monday night had the same general statement…I came here to find true love, and I thought I would be the one for him but I guess he just couldn’t see that – did you really think that you would be the one? Did you really think that in the first couple of days he would be able to see you for who you were? The first round of cuts is all about looks (and this makes sense, it happens in real life). I’m not saying that it’s impossible to find true love on reality TV but if you’re shocked that you didn’t find love on ABC’s The Bachelor you might as well pull your lip over your head and swallow – I’m just sayin!
DS Download: None of us would like to imagine that love is contrived or desperate, most of us imagine that love is natural and that falling for someone is an organic process – not one that turns on when people are miced up and dealing with a camera in front of their face. However for Jake’s sake I hope that – in the midst of all that comes with filming a reality TV show – he finds “the one.”