Have you ever stopped to think about sexiness? And what it really means to be sexy? If we believed what we were fed via the media, we would believe that sexy had a narrow definition.
The media bombards us with subtle and not so subtle variations on what they define as sexy. For a woman, it would be very easy to think that being sexy was acting/looking like Angelina, Halle, or Megan Fox; additionally, it would also be easy for a man to assume that sexiness meant carrying himself with that swagger of a Lenny Kravitz (yipes!!!), Brad Pitt or George Clooney. The message being that one is sexy if they are beautiful.
But if we dig deeper, and push back on the message that the media is sending us, it’s easy to see that this narrow definition of sexiness can set us up for a rude awakening in the real world.
A couple of weekends ago I had my rude awakening. An awakening that has absolutely encouraged me to pause before I seriously comment on what is and what is not sexy.
To set the scene, I was at Local 16, enjoying an evening of vodka tonics set to the soundtrack of the DJ’s tribute to Michael Jackson…though not yet crowded, the usual suspects were on the dance floor – and by “usual suspects” you know what I mean. I’m talking about the people that seem to be purposely making a mockery of themselves on the dance floor, with enough gyrating, twirling, and rhythm-less movements to make you want to break them up (often times it seems as though they’re encouraging each other!).
As I kept a steady eye on the floor, I looked on as a young lady inched her way to the dance floor and proceeded to act out a dance that looked like a full body dry heave. The look on her face said that she was FEEEEEEEEEEELing it – feeling the moment, feeling the words to “Pretty Young Thing”, and feeling the idea that she had become a spectacle in the center of the dance floor.
If I’m completely honest, I looked at this girl with shock. My exact thought was, if she knew how un-sexy she looked, she would surely stop….surely if she could see herself she would be embarrassed.
But she never stopped.
DS Download: I think she knew something that hit me full force that night – she knew that being sexy wasn’t about subscribing to a preformed definition of the thing, being sexy was about how you feel, and she was FEEEEEEEEEEELing it. I get it.
Although I was ready to issue her a moving violation, there could have been someone in there that found her twisting and turning, and off beat lurching inspiring…in fact, there could have been someone in the place for which she was perfectly on beat.
And I guess that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? — Finding someone with whom you are on beat with.
As the song played on I became less mesmerized by the woman’s bad dancing, and more mesmerized/fascinated by the woman’s certainty that she was sexy. But wasn’t she though? If she could see that she was – who was I to feel that she was not? Her determination to FEEEEEL it reminded me of my mindset at my 30th birthday…I was in the zone, twirling around in my yellow dress like my life depended on it. I’m sure someone at the club that night thought I looked ridiculous and was wishing that I would stop – but I was FEEEEEELing it, and why in the WORLD would you ever want to stop someone that was FEEEEEEELing it?