The Breakup

Jon and Kate Plus 8 is one of my guilty pleasures.  Along with Tori & Dean, Keeping Up with The Kardashians, and The Hills –  But, in my eyes Jon and Kate were a break from the typical reality show.

Over the years, as I watched the show I would think that I was corny for being fascinated by this couple that was working together to raise 8 children.  But how could you not be fascinated??  When this show first came on I was 26 – they were 22 with 8 kids!!!  I couldn’t even fathom that.  I would often dismiss my fascination as my answer to any part of my biological make up that thought that it was “time” for me to have kids…the site of 8 crying children definitely calmed me down.  But if I really think about what fascinated me the most, I think I watched the show because I thought they were different.  Maybe I thought they were the Cosbys of reality TV. 

I wanted so badly for Jon and Kate to be different, but four years later it turns out that Jon and Kate’s reality is all too common.  Unfortunately the pressures and pitfalls of a life lived in front of the camera got the best of them…I’m taking this hard.

In my heart I’m a hopeless romantic.  I look at couples that have been together for years, and that seem to have worked together to build something strong, and when they break up it boggles my mind.  I think to myself, what was so bad that they couldn’t make it work…why couldn’t they just try harder??  No one said that a relationship would be easy.  I guess, as my grandfather would say, I need to keep livin.

DS Download:  One of my favorite movies is The Way We Were (put it in your Netflix cue).  No matter how many times I see that movie, I always want the end to be different…I always hope that maybe Katy (Barbra Streisand) and Hubbell (Robert Redford) will realize that their love for each other is more important than politics or trying to change the other person.  But what if, individually, they decided that they loved each other enough to change without having to be asked?  Setting aside their foolish pride and their certainty about how life should be lived to account for the other person – the person that they fell in love with.  

In positive change, there are elements of compromise…and granted, I don’t know much about love but it seems to me that change and compromise are some of the ultimate acts of love.

I think it’s our unwillingness to change that makes us prone to sad endings.  If you push back on what Jon and Kate were saying or not saying on last night’s show, doesn’t it all drill down to their unwillingness to change for each other?  Kate’s unwillingness to go back to life without the cameras and the unending opportunities that her family now receives because of the show, and Jon’s unwillingness to accept that his life (in terms of anonymity and the family unit) as he knew it, as far as him being the breadwinner/provider etc. will never be the same again. 

Perhaps each person is asking the other to much, perhaps they’ve outgrown each other, or perhaps they’ve just never paid attention to each other’s need for change.

I’ve seen relationships break a part that have literally shocked me, but I guess when it comes to matters of the heart there are often times no clear answers.  I hope that TLC is at least asking both of them to attend counseling…do it for the children, do it for us.

3 thoughts on “The Breakup

  1. God, I lift Jon and Kate Gosselin up to you. I thank you for designing them, for bringing them together. I thank you for their infertility that led to twins and sextuplets. I thank you that you have used the curiosity of the world to provide for their family. I thank you that they have been able to use the avenue of television to show the world that families can and do love you – together. Right now, God, Jon and Kate are hurting. Their marriage is in chaos and they don’t know what will happen and where they will go. So God, I pray right now for your power and love and grace and mercy to pour into the hearts of Jon and Kate and to pour into their marriage. I pray that you reveal yourself to each of them in a mighty way. Reveal your love, but also show them their sin. Show them how they have turned from you. Show them forgiveness. Through that, God, I know that your desire is to restore their marriage and make it more beautiful than it ever has been. I pray God, that you are in the midst of their struggle and that you remove Satan from every corner of their hearts and of their home. I pray that through all of this, that YOU are glorified. I pray that “God moments” are filmed and that those moments make it through to the final production of the show. I pray that Jon and Kate have the courage to publicly turn to you and then to publicly proclaim how good You are. I pray that you use their marriage – the ugly and the restoration to beautiful – to heal other’s marriages and to bring Your beauty back into the public institution of marriage. God I pray that Jon and Kate are overwhelmed by love and that you place a bubble around them and their family. Let that bubble protect them from the evil words, the ugly photos, the hurtful stories. I pray that only YOUR TRUTH is able to penetrate into their hearts. God I pray that many others will lift up prayers for Jon and for Kate. I thank you. I love you. I ask that you grant this prayer so that all glory and praise returns to you. In the powerful name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen

  2. You know…until the DS posted this story I knew almost nothing about Jon and Kate. I’m a guy, so the playoffs are of far greater urgency to me than them or their litter of kids. I didn’t even know they were the lead characters on a reality show, and I wasn’t surprised by the public fallout once I discovered who they were and what their importance was.

    However, Americans love real life drama, and it’s moments like this that seem to illustrate why. The thoughts you guys have just shared on their breakup reminds me that such a growing slice of American culture, reality television, really does exude a kind vicarious hope and pain that some of us seem to live through when following the stories of the people featured in them. It reminds us that we’re not alone in dealing with our own pain. When we see others struggle the way we have or even more, it humbles us into keeping our complaints about life in perspective. When we see the characters on these same shows propser, however, it also, inspires us to continue striving, fighting and reaching for the next limb in the tree of life.

    And given the divorce rates in this country, it’s hopeful to know that the marriage of a couple like Jon and Kate seizures so much of our attention. It means that our generation hasn’t given up on this wonderous institution we call marriage.

    Praise God!

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