I was blown away by the people who came back and even more shocked as some of my friends would see faces and say things like “I was just talking to <insert name> and they haven’t been back to Homecoming since we graduated.” 

It was a bittersweet Homecoming for me as I got the distinct impression that many of the people who made their 10 year debut would not be seen again until the 15 or 20 year reunion.  I also got the impression that many of the Homecoming regulars were taking a good look at campus as if to say that after this Homecoming their visits would be few and far between.

Homecoming will certainly be different from now on.  As younger classes come back for their reunions and older classes stop coming, we will recognize fewer faces, but this is not a reason to stop making the trip.

Coming back to “the yard” to see each other and understand from whence we came is an important tradition that we should keep near to us.  It’s an important tradition that we should pass on to our kids (that’s a collective our as I have no children, but I digress).  Homecoming isn’t about simply re-capturing an amazing time in our lives, it’s also about celebrating the present time….enjoying campus, watching the new traditions of the current student body, and seeing the new developments on campus.  KUDOS to Dr. Harvey for the Union Jam that was “off the chain” – slammin DJ, and excellent cash bar.  That was a great call.  

Homecoming is about revisiting the past and standing firm in the present.

Granted, I understand that many alumni who don’t live on the east coast might have a hard time justifying the expense of traveling to Homecoming.  However, if you live close enough and you can make it, you should return to your “Home By The Sea” for more than just the major milestone reunions.

My parents graduated from Hampton in 1973 and one of the things that they gave me was the gift of a rich tradition – how did they do it?  They never shoved the idea of an HBCU down my throat – they showed me the power of what an HBCU could give me.  Each year, we’d pack up the car and ride to Homecoming .  I would watch as they laughed and caught up with old friends at different tailgates…they’d even wake me up to go to the Saturday morning parade (that I haven’t been to since, by the way).  Hampton is a part of them…it is a place that shaped who they are.  It wasn’t a second choice – which is the way that many misinformed people would like to cast the HBCU – it was THE choice. 

Hampton was our choice.  Let’s never forget that. 

Our Hampton experience has forever shaped us…it has given us a strong foundation and it has enabled us to go into the world and represent a rich legacy.  Let’s make sure that we do that, let’s make sure that we come back as often as we can.

I’ll end with one of my favorite poems, seen through the lens of Homecoming – author unknown.

I am the black child

All the world waits my coming

All the world watches with interest to see

What I shall become

Civilization hangs in the balance for what I am

The world of tomorrow will be…

I am the black child

You have brought me into this world about which I know nothing
You hold in your hands my destiny

You determine whether I shall succeed or fail

Give me, I beg you
A world where I can walk tall and proud

 Train me, as is your duty unto me
To love myself, my people

and to build and maintain a black nation*

*P.S. – I must add that I love our diverse nation and that I have no hidden agenda in nation building!  This is simply a poem that I am fond of.  I remember liking this poem as a child, and I feel that it is relevant to our HBCU experience.  Our culture needs traditions that affirm positive notions of who we are and what we will become – the tradition of the HBCU is one of them. 

 peace

I have only just a minute
Only sixty seconds in it
Can’t deny it, can’t refuse it
I will suffer if I lose it
Give account if I abuse it
I’ll be blessed when I use it
Joyous if I know to choose it
I have only just a minute
But a destiny is in it
- Author unknown

peace.

This picture symbolizes hope…even in the midst of the worst times the sun will eventually find a way to shine through.

The day is here and we all know what that means.

For my grandparents it was Pearl Harbor.

For my parents it was the Assassination of President Kennedy followed by the Assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King.

For us it was September 11th 2011. It was the day from which our lives would never be the same again. It would change our suspicions, completely change travel, and it would give us our generation’s collective story of mourning-the story that each of us can recall so vividly about that gut wrenching day that changed everything.

It was the September after I graduated from Hampton University. I hadn’t stepped foot in the real world yet. I had thoroughly enjoyed that summer and I was preparing to start my job at Accenture on September 23rd. The only thing that was on my mind was to soak up the dwindling days of my pre-corporate America life.

I woke up that day and as I hear countless people recall, it was beautiful. It sounds like such a cliché but it was a strikingly beautiful day. The sky was a memorable blue, there were hardly any clouds to be found and the temperature was perfect. I was preparing to leave the house for an appointment and I turned on the TV to see the breaking news coverage that a plane had somehow flown directly into one of the towers. I quickly called one of my girlfriend’s that worked for Time Warner in Midtown.  She told me that folks in her building had gone to a higher floor to watch the spectacle unfold.

It was so eerie to watch the smoke billowing from the tower and to have no information as to how this could have happened.  No plausible factors made sense – there was no fog so it had to have been a terrible mistake…we were all gripped to the TV.

I sat and watched and waited. Not long after I got off the phone with my friend my dad walked in the house with his army fatigues and combat boots. He had been on duty for a number of days at Walter Reed and had driven home that morning with the stereo on to relax his mind.  He walked in the house, stopped in the doorway and I said

“did you hear that a plane hit the World Trade Center?”

He didn’t believe me… He walked closer to the TV and saw the shocking image and in that instant as he walked closer we both watched as the second plane hit.

And in an instant life as we knew it changed.

We can all so vividly remember the collective pain and fear that we felt as terror spread to Pennsylvania and Washington DC.  As we watched the unimaginable we found it hard to breathe.  I distinctly remember being so glued to the news coverage – watching the buildings falls, seeing the looks of desperation on peoples faces, waiting for the hoards of survivors that would surely come…and at some point saying to myself, how will we get through this?  How can we be expected to go on?

They say that God doesn’t put any more on you than you can bear but that belief seems menacing during times that were as frightful and as savage as September 11^th, 2001.

I am absolutely amazed at what we as humans can experience and find the courage to live through and triumph over.  We moved forward because we had no other choice.

I am grateful to have come of age in a pre 9-11 world.  I was 22 when 19 terrorists savagely murdered 3,000 people.  I remember when their savagery was not a part of my psyche.  I flew out of National Airport recently and had the pleasure of walking though the old terminal.  The fond memories that came to mind of flying out of National airport in the 80s — no security checks, no having to leave your loved ones at the gate — were met with the stark reality of what it means to fly today.

Every generation has a painful collective moment that is so hurtful and so unspeakable that it changes all forever – 9-11 is ours.  We know exactly where we were.  We can instantly transport ourselves to the pain that coursed through our bodies.  And we know that in that instant we were all changed forever.  We were made a bit more battle-ready.  We were put on guard.  We would know for the rest of our lives the true treachery that human beings were capable of and for the rest of our lives we will never be able to take something as simple as boarding a plane for granted.

As we awake to the 10^th anniversary of 9-11 I mourn the innocents who lost their lives.  I weep for the families that lost loved ones.  I stand in sheer awe of the passengers of flight 93, passengers that were able to speak with their loved ones on the phone and that knew the fate that was planned for them—regardless of their fear they fought.  They fought until the very end.

I don’t want to be cavalier about standing up to terrorists.  But I will say that the members of flight 93 left an example for us all and sent a message to the world.  It may have been easy for terrorists to have snuck up on a country while its back was turned (we have a name for people that decide to attack when one’s back is turned) but once the evil was known a stand was taken and evil was met with sheer courage.

In the incredibly long shadow of 9-11 I am grateful for courage.  I am proud of how far we have come.  And I pray that we not lose sight of the collective vigilance that is needed in this post 9-11 world.

peace.

Hello Gorgeous!

Although flip flops and bright funky nail colors will be missed I’m looking forward to what this sexy season brings. For me the basics are always key players…

Schoolboy blazer, J. Crew

I would like color to be one of my basics this season!

Haute hippie cowlneck silk blouse, saks

And a checkered shirt is always good, no?

Checkwave ex-boyfriend shirt, Madewell

I always TRY to mix in a bit of funk…

Sam Edelman Ria bootie

And the costume baubles will be in full effect this Fall…

Ice cube necklace, J.Crew

Stella & Dot Devi Bangles *for extra sparkle and a fabulous cocktail ring to top it all off.

Stella & Dot Aurora cocktail ring *

Here’s to Summer’s end and Falls debut. Have a gorgeous Labor Day weekend!

Peace

*If you adore the Stella & Dot pieces and are interested in hosting a Stella & Dot jewelry party at your home – girlfriends, jewelry, and wine, hello! – let me know.  As a hostess you receive $250+ in free jewelry.  If you want to know more i’ll put you in contact with my S&D stylist – xoxo

I have had this amazing piece in my collection (sounds so super sophisticated) for about two years now and it’s so lovely I just can’t say enough about it.  It has a vintage feel, a beautiful tarnished and burnt color, and a stained glass top that welcomes any sexy little lamp that you want to put on it.  See my sexy little lamp here…

I am such a cheerleader for this piece that I got one of my fabulous NYC girlfriends to purchase it as well!  It arrived at her place last week – she ADORES too!

SO imagine my surprise, as I discovered my new favorite blog, SoHaute.com and I’m reading the most recent post entitled “Style Stalking, Jacqui Getty At Home”, I scroll down to the fifth picture and I see this photo…

My beautiful & inexpensive furniture find in the “…profoundly beautiful home of LA tastemaker…” Jacqui Getty!

My obsessions collided – it was meant to be!  I was meant to tell the world (or my five loyal followers) about my two favorite obsessions (of the moment).  SO if you’re looking for a fun sophisticated piece that won’t break your pockets jump on this beautiful Wisteria table and if you’re looking to expand your blog rolodex put SoHaute.com on your list.  The author of this blog is not only talented but she’s a beautiful black woman – don’t get me wrong I follow so many blogs written by amazingly creative women and could care less about the color of their skin, however I must admit that it’s refreshing to stumble across a blog written by a woman that looks like me.

Happy Thursday!

Because if I could eat anything right now and I weren’t worried about my hips/thighs/and ass I would have a big juicy burger – team carnivore.

A girlfriend and I made our way to Bobby’s new joint last week and it was pretty good.  The bun was a little too pasty for my taste.  If you’re going in for the real thing why not put a little butter on the bun and toast it up a bit??

I got the blue burger and you can’t really go wrong with ground beef, bacon, and blue cheese, however I will say that I’ve had better blue burgers.  The fries were excellent, they reminded me of the fries at Marvin, who by the way has the BEST fries in DC (the sauce trio is delightful).

By far, the best thing about the place was the customer service.  All of the employees were friendly and very attentive.  I can’t say enough about the importance of customer service…of all the things that business owners invest in, I’m convinced that drilling in a culture of customer service is one of the most important investments.  Although the burger didn’t wow me, I would go back because of the people and I would pray to the burger gods that the bun would be toasted and buttery the next time around.

The garish signage, I don’t adore.

Very Ron Burgundy-esque…”sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight”

Bobby’s Blue Burger, rated:  Pretty Good

Dear God – If this is what i do to a dish that’s ‘pretty good’ please help me (dear God, make me a bird so i can fly far, far far away from here)

I wholeheartedly believed that there was a good chance that my office building was going to implode and crush me, ending my 30+ years of life.  I said to myself – i said, self- “so this is how it ends, at an office building in Rockville MD, wearing a target dress (which was very cute by the way) and flat sandals?”

And just as I prepared myself for certain doom, the shaking and swaying stopped.

I frantically tried to call my parents just to make sure they were okay – oh, and get this – I finally get my dear Mutha on the phone and she says to me, in a high-pitched, thousand-mile-an-hour pace, “Yes, it was an earthquake; call you right back I’m on the other line click….”  Ahh, you gotta love my mom!

So there I was in the parking lot of my building having just experienced the single-handed most frightening show of Mother Nature’s force…there was no one to call, as the phones were not working.  I wasn’t close to any of my loved ones.  It was just me.  I’m not sure what was more frightening, the actual event or the chaos and isolated feeling that followed as I wondered how my loved ones were doing.

I’m not sure what the moral of the story is here…wear high-heels more often, be sure that the first person you call in case of emergency isn’t someone who’d immediately click over on you, target dresses are smart for all occasions (be it a date or meeting a horribly bizarre ending)…I digress.

In the end – aside from the dishes that broke, the nerves that were frazzled, and the pants that were certainly soiled – we made it through.

For all you survivors, make it good day.

peace.

I lived in Fort Greene for some years and though I decided that it would not be my permanent home this place will always have a special place in my heart.  Fort Greene made me feel a sense of community when I needed respite from the concrete jungle that was Manhattan…it was a calming and soothing place for my soul.

It had been some time since I’d been back, but on a recent trip I was overwhelmed with my affection for Fort Greene.  The weather was lovely, the jazz station, 88.3 (I recommend that you live stream this now) provided a romantic soundtrack as I drove through the colorful streets and the mood was perfectly set for my weekend love affair.  I soaked up the delicious food, the beautiful parks, and enjoyed the company of amazing people – Zovig, you’re truly a gem…to The Feeze, I look forward to the next time!

Here’s to special people, lovely weather, beautiful music, and an affair with a truly lovely city…enjoy.

Salad, brought to you by Olea, 171 Lafayette Ave.

Chicken sandwich, Olea

Signature cocktail, brought to you by No. 7, 7 Greene Ave.

The park at Carlton & Dekalb, just lovely…

A view from the park…Madiba restaurant, 195 Dekalb Ave.

Salmon brought to you by Dino’s, 222 Dekalb Ave.

The bar at Dino’s.  Is there a better way to spend a beautiful Saturday afternoon?

Pear martini brought to you by Flatbush Farmers, 76 St. Marks Ave.

My sexy home away from home, Fort Greene.

Good lord willing – as the old folks used to say – Friday brings the certainty of Saturday and Sunday and my spirit truly welcomes the days of relaxation.

My mind is best able to reflect on the things that I’m grateful for during the times of least stress.

For the first time last week I heard Jay-Z and Kanye’s new song.  I’m referring to the song that starts off with the opening of Otis Redding’s Try A Little Tenderness.  After the opening you hear Jay and Kanye rap and the hook/chorus is all Otis.  I’m not going to go into some diatribe about hip-hop and its legacy of sampling – some might say taking from the classics.  I do believe that sampling has its place and that there have been some amazing songs that have resulted from this practice.

BUT when I heard Jay-Z and Kanye’s song, at the exact point when Try A Little Tenderness cuts off and Jay-Yay start rapping I instantly felt grateful with a slight mix of sorrow.

Grateful because I not only knew the original song but that I had also been taught to appreciate the musical genius of Otis Redding and his contemporaries – the Wilson Picketts (aka Wicked Pickett), the James Browns, Sam Cooks etc.  Sorrow because I’m certain that there are millions of people out there that have NO idea about the rich musical legacy, funk foundation, and cultural heritage from which that music originates.

To be clear – I’m not blaming Jay-Yay.  If anything their sampling of the song might cause some people to research Otis Redding and his rich body of work.  I am simply grateful for being brought up with an understanding of funk’s foundation.

What’s is Funk? — Soul music in its purest, most untouched form.  Music that speaks to you.  Music that will be a hit because it was universal then and it’s universal now.

Listen to this man talk about tenderness…listen to this man sympathize with a weary woman – if this man’s voice doesn’t speak to your soul and make something inside you listen, what does?

Sam Cook’s certainty that change would come…

Wilson Pickett warning sally to slow that mustang down…

JB – talking bout wanting to do his thing, like a sex machine…

THIS IS FUNK in its purest, most-original, un-adulterated form.

I don’t have children and I don’t have nieces or nephews but for those of you that have any or all of the above you owe them a talk about funk and soul music.  Any child/children that come into my life will get this conversation.  And it won’t just be a conversation – if they are my children it will be a lifetime of understanding the foundation and it might get on their nerves but who cares?

Honestly I can’t imagine that a child would hear Chris Brown’s He Ain’t Me on the radio and not – at some point – be thoroughly educated on the fact that Michael Jackson’s Human Nature was a hit in 83’…It was a hit in 92’ when it was sampled on SWV’s Right Here and it will be a hit this year on Chris Brown’s CD – why?

Because it’s original funk.

Keep it funky this weekend.

peace.

“What is success?  To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; that is to have succeeded.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love this definition of success.  There is no mention of money or job title, station in life or luxury car – Emerson’s definition of success is all about the impact that one human being can have on another human being’s life through friendship, affection, and personal character.

For many of us, determining what our own definition of success is and staying true to that definition is a constant battle.  It is a battle between the truth that we pursue and the truth that society qualifies as the ultimate truth.  It is so very easy to get confused by what success is or isn’t.  It is so very easy to measure yourself against the common denominator of success.

This is a reminder to follow your own version of success – whatever that may be – to stay true to yourself, and to not get caught up in the hype of what you should have or where you should be, but rather to be grateful for the here and now.

What is success?  Sunlight dancing on the water – it’s absolutely breathtaking.

peace.